I’ve never thought of myself as the “funny girl.”
I have noticed, however, that I am becoming increasingly aware that I am not the “pretty girl” and that that is totally fine with me. There have been times in my life where I have tried so hard to be pretty. There were times where I felt anxious if I wasn’t dressed as nicely as other girls or if I didn’t have the latest most trending article of clothing. But over time, I’ve realized that’s no way to live. That kind of obsession with trends will lead to purchases you will only regret. Trust me, I’ve worn my fair share of Crocs, willingly constricted my circulation with hundreds of silly bands, and rocked plenty of neon and zebra print. I think I even have some things in my closet that are neon and zebra print. *shudders*
Being cute and trendy all the time is exhausting. I’ve never been good with money, but I can say with confidence that I have far less regrets when I spend a lot of money on a weekend visiting my friends, than when I go on a shopping spree. In fact, in the former, I have none.
In college, it’s much easier to get away with and be accepted into society even when you wear socks with Chacos, don’t wear makeup almost ever, and rock giant could-be-men’s glasses and giant could-be-men’s sweatshirts to boot. It’s chill. In high school, I’d probably feel nervous, dangerous even. But here, I feel pretty insignificant, in the least depressing way possible. It’s my style. No one’s judging. Well, I’m sure someone is, but if they are, I don’t care.
To get back to the point of this entry, I never liked being put in boxes. I tried to fit in them and none ever worked for me. The “pretty girl” was too small and too much work. The “smart girl” just wasn’t in the cards for me. The “normal girl” was never going to be in my size. I liked just being the one who didn’t fit. Until the other day someone asked me to try the “funny girl.” Huh.
I know my friends think I’m funny. I know my mom thinks I’m funny (Thanks, Mom). I know how to make people laugh. But, until recently, I never considered myself the “funny girl.” So, I tried it on for size and… it doesn’t feel too bad.
Maybe I am the “funny girl.” Or maybe I am the narcissistic girl who dances around and says “Look at meeee!!” Or maybe I’m the girl who can never make up her mind and who writes the most random rambling pieces of crap on her shared blog. All of these are completely real and possible labels to stick on me.
Whatever I am, I’ve accepted it. I may never figure it out. But it sure is entertaining to try.