An Overdramatic Open Letter to College Pt. 1

Dear College,

You have consumed me from the time I first met you. I have thought about nothing else. All of my love and hate and effort and ignorance has led back to you. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve seen you on TV or in my favorite movies. I knew that one day I would grow up and befriend you. I would turn to you and you would take my frailty and make it strength. As I’ve grown up I’ve always kept you in mind. Everything I did was for you. I climbed the ladder rung by rung, biding my time as I drew nearer to you. Now I finally have you. I finally can see the glimpse of everything I worked and slaved for. Every ignorance I have tried to mend just to stand unmocked in your presence. Every flaw that I have strived to fix to be my best self for you. I can see it all, and I don’t want it anymore.

I don’t know where I would be without you, College. For so long I have wanted you more than anything, and yet, I am certain that having you will only further destroy any hopes I have at happiness. You will be great in the moment and horrid for my future. I will see you as the way out, but really you will be the way into everything I have been trying to avoid. I will struggle, and I will settle. I will learn to become what I never wanted to be. I will soon give up my dreams and exchange them for your reality. College, I can already feel myself growing weary of you.

I want to be free to think and experience, but you will chain me to my pursuits. I want to be creative and passionate, but you will make commodity out of my attempts at creativity. I want to be a new and unique person, but you will pull me further into bad habits as I seek to survive you. College, this already isn’t working.

I don’t know what to do. I would say that it’s me, but College, it really is you. So here I am to tell you we’re through. It’s been wonderful dreaming of the days together, but the relief that saying goodbye brings is even more so ecstacy when compared to what I used to think pleasure. Goodbye College. I hope one day we can meet again and you can be everything I ever dreamed. Until then,

Best Wishes,
Hannah Wagner

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